She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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