I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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