he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
