I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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