get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize