i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
