Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
