hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
