I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
