whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
