We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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