ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
