Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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