You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
