I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
