sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
