im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
