Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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