he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Quick, to the slutcave!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize