Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
