Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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