hotel room ftw
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
