My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
