All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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