You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
