I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
