Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
