this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
