They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
