Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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