Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
