No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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