This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
