I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize