That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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