HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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