All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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