This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
