you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize