Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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