I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
