what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
