let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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