We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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