it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
