i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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