I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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