How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
