I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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