bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize