so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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