I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
