People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize