Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
