Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize