ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
