And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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