If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
