Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
