I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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