Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize
