Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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