I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My penis needs a shock collar
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
