the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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