I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
