Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
