Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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